Hi all. It has been forever since I have written here.
Straight up I have been in depressions and manias cycling rapidly. Mix that with the most intense alcoholic binge I have ever been on and an unhealthy addiction to the virtual world and you've got yourself a real fine mess. ie Me.
I feel the need to write because I have been hiding. In this dark hidden realm mostly played out in my fast traveling head, but ultimately affecting my home and my health in the most negative ways.
So here I am. Fessing up to myself in blogginess, on the first fews days of sanity I have had in a long time. I have been so far gone. My feet have been swollen from drinking... they are down and feeling normal for the first time in months. I should be getting some help, but as usual have this ridiculous fear of seeking it.
But I am being brave. Being gentle. Recovering on so many levels.Working on forgiving myself for a lot of fucked up shit.
It's Christmas time again. A hard time for me. But this year, my focus is on maintaining some level of sanity, of calm... of good health.
This Christmas, I want to feel alive.
Peace.
About Me
.jpg)
- Meg
- I am a bipolar alcoholic trying to get my life into perspective. I am also a musicaholic and lover of art and poetry, which is much healthier. This blog is my own journey of recovery and self help... I am a musician and songwriter, budding artist and mystic amongst other things.
And she's back... again.
Long time no write...
Hi People,
I haven't written for a while. Things have been pretty good really. Nothing too crazy or 'eventful' has happened. Sure, there have been ups and downs, but not anything of note. FANTASTIC! No episodes. Yay! LOL.
I have thrown myself into learning some new techniques and styles of digital art. I am creating in 3D! Something I never thought I would get my poor lil ole brain around. It is extremely satisfying to my knowledge hungry self.
It is amazing how therapeutic the focus of creativity can be.
I hardly know myself... I have found something that satisfies both the manic and the depressed in me. Colour and light, abstract and not, I have found just the right outlet. The possibilities are as diverse as me.
Wow. I never thought it possible. I am drinking moderately, nothing too extreme. I am perhaps not doing as much housework as I should, lol, but I am feeling better than I have in a long time. And that really is something.
Peace.
XOX
