so what can be done...?

Well it's all good giving myself this place to whine and moan about what ails me, but perhaps I should also focus on what power I do have to change things.

Truth is, I had thrown myself into the new age community via facebook and other networking sites, and the positivity was driving me insane. In hindsight, it was probably the lack of genuine interaction that bugged me the most. But I found myself writing quite dark messages to people who were placing their faith in "The Secret" type philosophies.

Rather than be nasty to these people, I cancelled my accounts and made the decision to start this blog. I really don't want to upset anyone. I'm just in a bad place right now. So having a break from these places on the internet was probably the best thing to do.

I'm a bit too cynical to be able to absorb messages from the new age community right now.

What wasn't helping either, was the copious amount of whiskey I had been consuming. I was sitting up until ridiculous hours at night, getting absolutely loaded, and sending nasty negative messages to nice people... despite my thoughts on their philosphy

I am the process of detoxing now. Better foods, no alcohol... more water. I have pulled myself away from any influence other than my own. If only for a while.

Perhaps I will go back to the frivolity of facebook and the like, but right now I need truth. I need to find my own truth again.

I'm not even sure what that is anymore. I have been struggling to find positivity. I know that if I take care of myself... nurture the fragile mess I have become, I will begin to find my own inner light once more.

There have been many times in my life where I was looked to for inspiration and wisdom. It's gotta be there somewhere, if only hidden beneath this shell I have created. I think I have just buried it in all this change and upheaval.

So I guess that's it for now.

Cleansing my mind any body.

That can only be good... right???

Peace.