Focus

I am trying to focus as much as possible on the things that I know fill my spirit.

Unfortunately when I am in this kind of mood, my spirit seems to be a bottomless, insatiable monster. I have a sense that things might be a bit more settled for a while, but am feeling a bit emotionless... cold. I don't like to be like this... but it happens from time to time. It is kind of like bipolar purgatory. The place between places. I know when I am here I am actually having movement, even though it doesn't feel like it. Problem is, I don't know which direction it will go from here, so I tend to be a bit fearful and overprotective of my heart, knowing it is the place where triggers have their power. This all sounds crazy... but it is true.
I feel the need to be guarded.

So I am listening to the beautiful Devendra Banhart. Setting up my new pc with programs from the old one... not sure what else I'll do. Need to stay busy, occupied. Cannot give myself too much time to think right now.

Peace.