The restless years...

So I'm thinking, maybe I'm not bipolar... maybe I'm just having a really drawn out mid life crisis. Maybe I'm just broken. Too broken to fix. My 'symptoms' really didn't become so bad until I had hit my late twenties, and my first really bad episodes were early thirties.
Although I will say that as far back as 10 years old, I can recall what might have been warning signs, if anyone had been paying attention.
Truth for me personally, is that my BP really started firing up when I went through a nasty break up, family courts, and ultimately the loss of the custody of my children.
I was so devastated by the whole chain of events... including around two years prior to the split which were so difficult for me. I literally stopped functioning from that point onwards. It was then that I first sought medical help for my depression and confusion. 50 million doctors appointments later, I still haven't found a solution to this. I thought it would get better. It hasn't. It seems to be who I am now. Just something I must learn to live with.
Is it possible that one 'major' trigger can change a person's brain forever? Or was it there, dorment, just waiting to thrive in my misery?
What I notice is, in support groups I have been to, and here on the net, BP affected folks seem to be of similar ages... kinda thirty somethings and upwards.
I find myself wondering why. Why that age group? Is it the pressure of family and relationship stuff that finally frees the beast? Is there some chemical that begins to deplete at this age, hence making us more prone to episodes?
I had a manic episode this week. The trigger was emotional. It was potentially dangerous, but thank god, I removed myself from the situation and directed my focus elsewhere.
So many questions, so very few answers...
I am just grateful that I feel well enough to write my thoughts today.
It has been a nutzy week.
Peace.